Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Maria Shapapova, Anna Kournikova, and the Russian Tennis Cloning Scandal

The Girls From Russia

This past weekend, in Key Biscayne Florida, another young tall, blond, pig-tailed Russian girl with devastating ground strokes won a major tennis tournament.

Was it Anna Kournikova? No. Maria Sharapova? No. Elena Dementyava? No. Vera Zvonareva? Daniela Hantuchova? Dinara Safina? Nadia Petrova? Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova? Maria Kirilenko? Dominika Cibulkova? Anna Chakvetadze?? No, no, no, no, no, NO!

Those would all be good guesses, though, because those are all top female tennis players with remarkably similar appearances and games. And they are all Russian, or very close to it. It was none of these top players. It was yet another eerily similar female seemingly popped out of a mold: Victoria Azarenko:

Just the Facts, Ma'am
What is going on here? Has not anyone stopped to take note that an impossibly large number of young, blond Russian teenagers are now within the top 100 female tennis player? And they are, for the most part, tall, skinny and sport pulverizing forehands -- all manufactured with a severe Western forehand grip--and two-handed backhands that rip through the court like steam through a samovar...

Has anyone not said: "What are the chances?" No? Well let me ask you this: can you think of any 3 female tennis players in the history of United States tennis that were look alikes? Tracy Austin, Pam Shriver, Chris Everet, Mary Carillo, Lindsay Davenport, Mary Joe Fernandez...? No. Not even close. Even the Williams sisters -- who are indeed sisters -- look less alike than say, Maria Sharapova and Viktoria Azarenko; or Hantuchova and Cibulkova:

Say It IS So
It really cannot be. It really is impossible. There is simply no way, statistically, that so many similar appearing women with nearly identical tennis games could all come from Russia, or very close to Russia--basically all from that part of THE FORMER USSR

Remember the USSR? Remember them? The original sports cheaters. The first country to use professional athletes disguised as amateurs. The first country to use performance-enhancing drugs on their athletes--the ones who must have put together the genetic material for this cloning experiment in the 1980's!

Here are the Russians in the TOP 100 with their birthplaces and dates:

Sharapova former #1--: Nyagan, Siberia, Russia 1987
Dinara Safina #2--Moscow Russia 1986
Elena Dementiava #4 --Moscow Russia 1981
Svetlana Kuznetsova #8-- St. Petersburg, Russia 1985
Nadia Petrova #9--Moscow 1982
Victoria Azaranka #10--Minsk, Belarus 1989
Dominika Cibulkova #16-- Bratislava, Slovak 1989
Alisa Kleybanova #17 -- Moscow, Russia, 1989
Anna Chakvetadze #23-- Moscow, Russia. 1987
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova #27--Samara Russia 1991
Alona Bondarenko #38 --Krivyi Rig (Ukraine),1984
Maria Kirilenko #39-- Moscow Russia 1987
Maria Daniela Hantuchova #43 --Poprad, Slovakia 1983

And don't forget the queen bee. The original. The model from whom the others seem to have begotten:

It all started with Anna Kournikova, born in 1981; where else? Moscow Russia.


Also See:
Clone Wars: The Impossible Reality of Moscow's Female Russian Tennis Players
Kournikova and the Moscow Tennis Clones


Keven said...


Try selective training man!

FreakyD says hi

Dr.T said...


Selectively trained to be blond?

Stay tuned for my next post bro...

And yur cousin 2

Charles said...

All the russian women must be born athletes, they play so great in every and each sport, of course, the tennis is the best one, and i'm sure you can buy sildenafil citrate to watch some russian tennis match!!

James said...

I like this girls! Without alprazolam xanax it will be difficult to watch them!

Anonymous said...

There are no words to describe how beautiful and sexy Anna Kournikova is, she can fill stadiums, I mean she is the number one Russian sexy woman.

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